Ever remember at school where you felt like the best person because you had all these friends around, you say you’re gonna be BFF’s forever and then you grow up. I mean don’t get me wrong growing up has it’s perks, I mean it really does – even the simple things like not letting my mum choose my dinner for me, I mean it sounds so simple, but it’s the best thing ever. But if we are totally honest, growing up has it’s moments where it absolutely sucks.
While we are in school like I said, even though it can be one of the most difficult times in our lives sometimes we have rose tinted spectacles, thinking that we will be best friends forever, that we will meet up once a month, message all the time and we will always reply to those WhatsApp messages. In reality though it doesn’t happen like that. We grow up, we change, it doesn’t mean that we don’t care, but we all just change.
Lately however I’ve been in a place where I just feel like there are certain people around me that aren’t a positive influence, that bring way too much negativity into my life and people that generally just have such a negative impact on my life.
These are the people that just don’t bring us joy, that just seem to take and take and take from you till they have nothing left to give. You literally feel like you’re on the hamster wheel trying to make friendships work, and they literally suck the life out of you, but because you care you just keep trying.
I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like to give in, I don’t like to give up, especially when you’ve put your heart and soul into a friendship for years and it goes toxic like that. But the thing I’ve learned about friendships going toxic is the fact that it doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend.
Since cutting said friend out of my life though, I feel so much better, I mean to the point where I feel like I don’t have a weight around me, wondering what the next message is going to be and whether I’m going to feel the sense of dread every time I see their name comes up on my phone.
If your friendships are literally causing you so much unhappiness, the why still keep them going? Sometimes you need to put yourself first and do what makes you happy.
I’m at the point in my life where I am surrounded by the right people and I feel like I have the support I need in my life.
Don’t ever feel guilty for cutting people out of your life, sometimes it is necessary. You’re not a bad friend, you’re a great friend and that friendship doesn’t reflect on you as a person, it takes 2 people to keep a friendship going.
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I totally agree with your post. I myself cut out of my life few years ago 2 toxic friends. One was like 10 years ago and the last one was like 6 years ago. I am someone who easily say yes to please people ( even when I don’t want to say yes) I am a bit shy and lack of self esteem and those 2 persons were rather selfish and they knew they could use me until my last breath for their own benefit. The last toxic girl asked me once to choose between her and my boyfriend ( now future husband) and that was for me the end of her especially that before I met my boyfriend I was single for like years and she was always with someone I feel like she wanted me to remain single because it suited her better. I decided I did not want someone to ask me to choose when she should just have been happy for me. I had enough so mI stopped contacting her and ‘surprise surprise’ she never bother contacting me. Just like this she left my life and since then I felt much better. I did not needed her in my life she was indeed a toxic friend. She was not a bad person but she always wanted to be the priority and I could no longer take it.
It’s so important to do what is best for you, and if it means cutting toxic people out of your life, it’s what you need to do! xxxx
It’s sad whenever a friendship ends for whatever the reason but sometimes it’s necessary. The friendship group I was part of at school, at the time was amazing and we just assumed we’d always be as close but life doesn’t work out that way. It’s hard to keep putting the effort in with people who don’t return it, or if someone is just having a negative impact on your life, then it’s just not worth it anymore xx
Tiffany x http://www.foodandotherloves.co.uk
I know what you mean my lovely, you can’t keep putting in all the effort and getting nothing back! xxxx
Completely agree with you and it’s something I’ve done myself. You just can’t keep toxic people in your life, no matter how long the friendship. They have almost a vampiric toll on you and just suck the happiness out of your life otherwise.
Sarah <3
http://boxnip.co.uk
Not only that you don’t need that in your life, surrounding yourself with the right people is exactly what is important! xxxx
Oh my god YESSSS! This is exactly the place I’ve been in for the past few years. I’ve lost so many friends because they were just flaky af or didn’t want to be around when times got tough for me. They were shitty friends/people so I decided if it wasn’t bringing me joy to just let it go.
Siobhan x ~ Vegan Babe Life
It’s important to have people around you that aren’t like that! xxxx
I have cut out so many people and feel so much better for it. You realise sometimes that some friends are just not meant to be xx
I totally agree my lovely! Some friendships aren’t supposed to last forever! xxxx
Luckily I’ve never had any toxic friends around me but I have had toxic family members I’ve cut out of my life recently. It’s made a hell of a lot of difference to my life, I feel much calmer and happier in myself now!
It IS sad that we have to do this but looking after yourself is the most important thing
Liv x
http://www.seabreezecorner.com
I totally agree my lovely, even though it hurts, it is necessary! xxxx
It must be so difficult but cutting ties with toxic people is for the best x
http://www.ofbeautyandnothingness.co.uk
I totally agree my lovely! It’s important to do what is best for you! xx
I love this post and am still totally sad that I didn’t keep in contact with all of those high school BFFs. I totally agree that cutting out toxic people is super important though.
Soph – https://sophhearts.com x
I get quite sad too, but there are some of them that you just need to cut out of your life for the right reasons xxxxx
This is something as i was younger i used to be so scared to do but now i do it so often because life is too short for toxic people!
Life is way too short to have toxic people in your life! xxxx
This is such a great post and so relatable. I remember thinking back at school, we would stay in touch but things change and you do drift apart. I do wish that I did stay in touch, but it makes things more difficult now that I don’t live in the area. I agree that it is important to cut out toxic people in your life though, life is far too short to stay unhappy and everyone deserves to be happy!
Amy,
https://creativenails.uk
I know what you mean, you automatically think that you will be making memories with these people forever but it doesn’t always work out like that! xxxx
I KNOW THAT FEELING! Even though we grow up around people, we might need to cut them off because they’re not helping with bringing us up. It sucks when we’re stuck in a toxic friendship where we’re not being supported and always being put down for whatever reason. I am glad you felt better since cutting that person out. Keep it going, some friendships aren’t worth it. Friendship IS a two way street!!
Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me
And the friendships that are worth it, you just know, and they’re worth fighting for! xxxx
Nothing wrong with cutting out toxic people – we all have to protect ourselves x
Exactly and you’ve always got to look out for number 1! xxxx
when i turned twenty one i ended up having to cut a lot of toxic people from my life and it was absoutely horrible at the time but now five years on i know i am such a happier person because of it. it’s ok to do it and look after yourself and your own well being!
Rosie
Always do what is best for you my lovely! That is all that matters! xxxx
it’s so important to cut out the toxic people from your life for your own health & sanity
It does the world of good! xxxx
Great post! I feel like I’ve grown up a lot over this last year. I was completely cut off by my oldest friend – who was one of my best friends – for no reason. It was a long old story but eventually I deleted her off of everything because clearly she didn’t want me in her life anymore so I did the same. And I felt much better for it! xxx
I think it’s so important to do wat is best for you and it sounds like you have done the right thing darling! xxx
I adored this blog post so much, it’s really well-written and I love how honest you have been doll. I’ve cut so many toxic hateful people out of my life in recent months and feel so much better for it – I think if someone isn’t being positive and happy in your life then you need to remove them asap. 🌸✨
With love, Alisha Valerie x
| BLOG | TWITTER |
If they’re just adding negativity to your life as well, you don’t need that kind of thing in your life! xxxx
I always feel so sad when I fall out of touch with people because I know time goes by and I just forget to pick up the phone. I’m terrible! It’s important to know when you need to let people go though, even though it can be hard. Well done for recognising that! I’m glad you’re feeling better for it x
Sophie
http://www.glowsteady.co.uk
Life can just genuinely get in the way sometimes, it’s natural my lovely! xxxx
I completely agree with you! It can be so hard to maintain friendships, and while some of them just die naturally – which is perfectly ok, it just happens sometimes – other times you have to be brave and break up the toxic friendships in your life. There are so many people out there who appreciate you for you, as harsh as it sounds, there’s usually really no point in holding onto a relationship with someone that is condescending and toxic in your life. I always feel super guilty about it, but I also always feel so much freer once I’m not constantly trying to please them and hold onto a dying, toxic relationship.
I know what you mean my lovely you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what is best for you! xxxx
I clicked this post so quick. I 100% agree, cut toxic people out of your life! I need to always remind myself that this is the best thing to do. A lot of people in my life have been toxic, and I have cut them off, and this has ended up with me not having many friends at all which gets me down. Posts like this remind myself that it is for the best, especially if all they do is get you down. Amazing post lovely xx
It’s so important to do what is best for you my lovely and as long as you’re happy that is all that matters. Always make sure you look after yourself! xxx
I loved reading this post.
I have felt the same, dreading every time a friend messages me and what it says – I think it is necessary to cut people out if they only bring negativity to your life x
It’s such an awful feeling isn’t it when you read the message, but it’s important to notice when something is wrong and you need to make a change! xxxx
I could relate to this post so much. I really struggle with this because I always want to see the good in people. So even if they’ve hurt me, I try and look past that and only focus on the positive. Your post has reminded me how important it is to put yourself first and not let others bring you down. Thank you for sharing this.
You should always put yourself first my darling, your happiness is so important! xxxx
I can relate to this so much! I’ve struggled cutting toxic people out of my life but sometimes it just has to be done! You have to put you first, because if you don’t, who else is going to?
Exactly, it’s so important to remember self first when it comes to what makes you happy! xxxx
I totally agree. I’ve had friends who I thought would be by my side in the nursing home when we’re 82, but our friendship has just fizzled out entirely because they don’t stay in touch. Now I’m no saint – sometimes I take a while to reply to texts or forget to phone – but I do always check in. I have a busy life, but I always manage to find the time for the people I care about, because really, what’s more important? With that realisation, I found it easier to move on from relationships where I’ve been the one checking in and getting left on read, and wondering what I did wrong! It’s a weirdly nice clarity that comes with growing up, I think – when we realise we’re good enough, but someone else perhaps isn’t!
Friendships work both ways my lovely, you shouldn’t feel guilty if you’re putting in all the effort! It can be tough to balance everything, but we can all make time just to send a text, you’ve never done anything wrong my darling! xxxx
It’s so strange how things work out – I completely thought my school friends would still be my friends, but I don’t speak to any of them. I get that you have to let people go and it is a shame. Sometimes you have to be selfish, and I think that’s okay. I found this post really interesting xx
http://www.bethemilydann.co.uk
Thank you so much my lovely, it’s a shame but I believe everything happens for a reason! xxxx
I did a lot of this after UNI, and it was hard, but so so worth it! Good on you!
Thank you my lovely, I think it’s so important! xxxx
I completely agree – negativity breeds negativity. I’ve cut certain people out of my life, and even though I’ve felt guilty about it, it’s better in the long run for my mental health which I always try to prioritise.
Amy | hookedonthemusic.com
That is the most important thing in the world! We don’t need negativity in our lives! xxxx
Good post! Over the past few years, I’ve cut so many people out of my life because they were really toxic. They were different people from different areas of my life who were toxic, but they all had something in common: I was a target, they were constantly dragging me down and they were clearly on a mission to destroy me. They were bringing negativity in my life and I couldn’t take it anymore. So I cut them off and now I feel much better. Life is too short for spiteful people.
Chichi
The Cosmetic Notebook
http://thecosmeticnotebook.com
I totally agree, life is way too short to have extra negativity in our lives! xxxx
Cutting toxic friendship suck but at the same time it a great relief. I’ve been reflecting quite a lot of people whom are my friends but are being quite toxic that I’m slowly distancing myself from them. Always put yourself first before them and communication is always the key.
Love your post!
Michelle: http://www.brokebutflawless.com
I totally agree my darling! Friendships are so hard, but if a friendship is toxic then it’s important to distance yourself! xxxx