Saying no has always been incredibly difficult for me. I’m the kind of person that wants to be helpful and help others meet their own needs. However, because I was so determined to help others that I put my own needs on the back burner.
I think it is so important to learn to say no more. Stop taking on more if I genuinely don’t have the time. If I don’t have the time then why am I overcommitting myself?
So how am I learning to say no more? How am I learning to put my needs first?
01. Realise your time is precious
This is a hard one because we are only put on this early for so long. Our life, out time is truly precious, it isn’t limitless.
I’ve been clearing my calendar down lately and being more cautious as to what I take on.
Asking yourself simple questions can really help too.
When it comes to my commitments, do they reflect what I want to achieve? If not, why are you doing this?
If there are things that don’t make you feel comfortable, or don’t align with what you want to achieve, then that is what matters.
Your time is really precious and you shouldn’t feel guilty for putting that time aside for you.
02. Don’t feel the need to justify yourself
You do not owe someone an explanation about why you’ve said no. If they do ask a question about why you’ve said no, you can say something simple like:
- No, I don’t have the time right now
- No I don’t want to
- No I can’t do this right now.
Being polite in this kind of situation is very important but not overly apologetic. At the end of the day the important thing is to be polite yet firm.
03. You don’t need to answer straight away
If you feel uncomfortable giving an answer right away, remember you don’t have to.
Thinking about your answer can be important, so if you need to, do it. Don’t let someone force you into answering before you’re ready.
I am the worst when it comes to this because I feel the pressure to getting back to someone. You don’t need to though.
If someone puts pressure on you, then let it go. You really do not need that kind of stress in your life.
04. Remember that if you can’t help, the world won’t stop
I’m definitely the kind of person that feels like the world is going to end if I can’t help someone.
Let’s be honest life will go on, and if you can’t help, you could:
- give them advice
- point them in the direction of someone who could help.
Just because you can’t help doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone out there who can’t.
05. Let go of being a people pleaser
I have spoken quite a bit about being a people pleaser, and it’s something I’m really guilty of! But sometimes we really need to just let go of wanting to please others, and put ourselves first.
Being a people pleaser can cause such intense stress for us, overwhelm us and it is completely unnecessary.
You owe it to yourself to do what makes you happy, achieve your goals and don’t stop doing what you need.
Read how to stop being a people pleaser
These are my top tips for saying no without the guilt. Do you have any tips that you could pass on to help others? Let me know in the comments!
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I made a promise to myself that I would learn to say no more this year, as I would and still feel incredibly guilty for saying no! But I need to say no for my well-being sometimes and I love this advice on how to say no without feeling too guilty! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
Love this post! I always think I shouldn’t have to justify myself for saying no to something, but always end up trying!
Amy x
callmeamy.co.uk
Oh gosh I am SO bad for this! I am getting better though, weirdly I think covid helped because I had to say no to certain things and no one really would boo boo you because of a pandemic!
This article is so relatable yet so difficult to achieve, especially when people who are asking are constantly shaming you. I really hope to overcome this difficulty in my life. I feel like I m always justifying my actions and in the end just simply saying yes to stop them from guilting me.
I’m SUCH a people pleaser! And so often prioritise other people over myself. I definitely need to take a few of these tips on! I understand that my time is precious, but the people pleaser inside of me wants to do everything for everyone. Eeep!
Some really helpful tips thanks for sharing. I am to much of a people pleaser and worry about letting people down even when it makes me feel miserable, going try and use some of these tips.
These are some really helpful tips. I don’t know but I always feel too guilty to say no even when I really want to ha ha! Thank you for sharing your suggestions!
Lauren
I always say no haha! Especially if it’s doing something I don’t want to do! I have no problem with saying I don’t want to and it’s so freeing!
When I was younger, I would have trouble saying no to anyone. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better with saying no to strangers/people who aren’t really that important. I still struggle a bit with saying no to people I care about. I just don’t want to let them down! There are moments where I say no, and to me it’s this big huge achievement, aha. I feel like I always build it up in my head, and I get anxious thinking that they’re going to get mad at me or something. What a great post, I really related to it xx
Melina | melinaelisa.com
I’m such a people pleaser and always feel a no needs justification so this is definitely something I need to work on
Love this post! I often feel guilty when saying no, and feel like I’ve let people down x
Such an important post!
Danielle | thereluctantblogger.co.uk
Love this! One of my goals for 2022 was to only do things if I really wanted to so I definitely feel like learning to say no comes with that too!
Courtney x
c0urrtney.blogspot.co.uk
I’m quite a bold person these days but I still get the guilt! These are some fab tips x
Sometimes it’s really hard to say ”no”, even if you know that it’s the right answer.
You posted here such good and important tips! Thanks for reminding me of a few things! Very nice post!