People pleasing, I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to that, I think a lot of the time we are all guilty of being people pleasers. We sometimes don’t want to say no, we don’t want to upset someone and we want to be as supportive as possible. I’m the kind of person that if I have my last £1 and someone needs it, I’ll be there with it and do anything possible. I’ll do whatever I can to make someone else happy, I love it, it is a good feeling knowing I’m helping someone else but am sacrificing my own happiness?
My friend actually sparked this thought for a blog post because she turned around and said “You can’t be everything to everyone.” Do you know what, she was right, when you try to be everything to everyone you end up spreading yourself too thin. This has basically been me lately, I’ve been trying to be everything to everyone and now I’m just exhausted.
I’m that person that when I say I can’t do something for someone I end up worrying that I have offended them, oh gosh maybe I should try and make time so I can do something for them and them I’m basically on a massive hamster wheel with it going round and round in my head.
The thousand times I will say sorry for something even though I don’t have to be, that is just me, then you worry that they haven’t accepted your apology.
Why Amie, why?
So I’ve decided now is the time for me to take a charge of my life, to learn to say no, to try and find some kind of balance in my life.
Like I said earlier I’m not going to say no to everything, I will always do everything possible for my family, because that is what I do, my family are my world. I’ll always do as much as I can but sometimes I have to say no to certain things.
If you can’t do something it is okay, people will understand, sometimes you just need to say hold up a moment, I need a moment to myself to just chill & do something for me, to just calm and do something for me.
I’m going to start feeling less guilty, worrying so much, caring so much about apologising a thousand times for the same thing. I can’t do everything, I am just one person.
Are you a people pleaser? Do you relate to what I’m currently deal with? Let me know in the comments!
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Im so glad you wrote this. I struggle with saying no, and i end up doing things i dont or can’t do or i end up double booking myself and making my anxiety 100x worse.
I’m the worst when it comes to saying no, I just don’t know how. I feel like I need to not be a people pleaser! xxxx
I’m pleased for you that you’ve decided to stay strong!! I am totally and 100% the same!
The struggle is real isn’t it lovely? Sometimes we need to find the line between being helpful and sacrificing ourselves! xxxx
There’s definitely nothing wrong with wanting to please people but we have to know where to draw the line and put ourselves first!
Exactly, and I definitely need to find the line between helping others and pushing ourselves too far! xxxx
im forever try to make everyone happy, its even gotten to a point where ive been accused of something and my instinct is just to say i did the thing to get this person off my back
Oh my darling I’m so sorry that is awful, you shouldn’t have to do that! I hope you don’t have to again my lovely! xxxx
I’m the worst at saying no! I need to work on this and your post has reminded me that I should practice setting boundaries and standing up for what I do or don’t want to do.
The ecoLogical
I’m the same too my lovely! honestly though just keep going and try your best to put boundaries in place! xxxx
I’m the same way. I know trying so hard to please others causes a lot of my anxiety.
I’m the same angel, my anxiety goes through the roof with people pleasing! xxxx
It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, as my inability to say no means that I get used a lot and taken for a ride. I also need to be able to say no to my boss when I think it’s getting too much, so am feeling better about it.
Amy | hookedonthemusic.com
It is important to make sure that you’re looking after yourself and not just pleasing people around you. You need to say no sometimes for your own wellbeing! xxx
I’m exactly the same as you babe – to the point where I also wrote a post about it! I’ve had it recently where a family member has expected me to make a decision in order to make them happy, knowing it would be to the detriment of my own happiness. And I think in situations like this you need to be a little bit selfish and not feel guilty about it! xo
Sian | http://www.siankathrine.co.uk
That is awful, I totally relate though, it is a struggle but do you know what, sometimes you ned to say no and do what makes you happy! xxxx