Kindness is something we are taught from a young age to do, we are supposed to be kind to others but very rarely are we ever kind to ourselves. I am definitely not the kindest person to myself, no matter how much I try, sometimes it is just not enough, and you would think that I was talking to my worst enemy.
As we only have a couple of weeks left of the decade, I’m trying to go into the new decade with various positives and more impportantly being kinder to myself. So here are 20 ways I’m learning to be kinder to myself.
01. Give Yourself A Break
I am ridiculously hard on myself. I have high expectations for myself and when I don’t reach those expectations, then I feel like I have basically let myself down. If I’m honest I genuinely need to stop having these kinds of expectations of myself, because the higher my expectations the further I’m going to fall.
02. Put Your Happiness First
I’m the kind of person that will do my best to put others before myself, I love to help others out where I can and if it came to it, I would always give everything I could to support someone else. However, even though my intentions are always good, I have to start doing what makes me happy, I can’t live my life vicariously through others.
03. Let Go Of Negative Influences
I have let go of so many negative influences, I genuinely only want the best people around me. I don’t need people who are going to bring me down and if there is one thing that this year has made me realise, it is that life is way too short.
04. Learn To Relax
Relaxing is so hard for me because I genuinely don’t know how to switch off, I’m always trying to do something, and I’ve got to the point in my job where I genuinely enjoy it so much and care so much about what I do that sometimes I let it consume me. Switching off and relaxing with an old box set, burning my favourite candle, playing my favourite songs, or just switching my phone off and forgetting the world, it really does help.
05. On Bad Days, Slow Down
I have had a fair few bad days over the last few weeks, but slowly down really helps me. Knowing when my limits, what I need to do to calm myself and get myself back to the place that I need to does help. I’ve always been the kind of person that would go at 100 miles an hour, even when I talk, but slowing down lately, especially when it comes to filling my time with so many activities.
06. Don’t Give Up, Just Take A Break
My husband calls me stubborn, and I really am, I don’t tend to give up easily, but sometimes when you have tried so many times to do something, it can be hard to just keep going. Lately I have taken a break from certain things within my life and it really has helped, for example Instagram. I haven’t really been online much lately, but it is because I have been struggling with the platform in general, I hadn’t planned my posts and sheer exhaustion had kicked in and I wasn’t in the mood to post to be honest. I’ve come back, found my focus again and I’m working on new content. I couldn’t be more excited.
07. Self Love
Self love has been an absolute bastard for me lately, I haven’t felt comfortable in anything, I haven’t felt like I can be myself, I haven’t really felt comfortable in my own skin and it sucks. I have given myself such a hard time because even though on the outside I would be smiling, inside I am being beyond critical of how I look, how I feel and it is heart breaking.
08. Stop Being A Perfectionist
I’ve recently started my driving lessons again, and I am really enjoying it! My driving instructor has said that I am very much a perfectionist as is he, but I’m working on learning from my mistakes, and not aiming for perfection because I will always be let down if I am going after perfection.
09. Ask For Help
There is literally nothing wrong with asking for help, I’m very much an independent person and I hate asking others for help, but I’ve had to. It doesn’t mean that you’re being weak or you are unable to cope on your own or it just means that you need a helping hand to get through a difficult time.
10. Celebrate Your Achievements
I’ve been achieving so much lately in my own personal life and honestly I am the kind of person that tends to dull down my achievements, even at work and I really shouldn’t. If you do something really well, celebrate it!
What are some of the way that you need to be kinder to yourself? Let me know in the comments!
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It is always important to take a break if you need it! xx
You look so lovely in that photo! I’m big on celebrating your own achievement! x
I love these points I’m so harsh on myself a lot of the time and forget to look after myself, and I’m terrible at letting go of the negative things. Thank-you for posting this 💗
Important points! I particularly want to emphasize the importance of celebrating our achievements. We tend to keep quiet of everything we’ve achieved because we’re afraid of sounding cocky, but that’s a wrong way to go about it. Quite oppositely, we NEED to celebrate our achievements and shout about them, because we’re all worth it. We did it, it’s great, have a glass of bubbly and invite everyone to join. xx
Great post! I need to get so much better at giving myself a break because I’m absolutely awful at it.
Jas xx
This is such a lovely, positive post. I feel like we’re all guilty of down playing our achievements or putting other people before our own needs. All of these tips are brilliant x
Sophie
I 100% need to let go of negative influences! I love this post – such a positive spin on things and really lovely to read. 🙂
Soph – https://girlvsworldblog.com x
All of these points are so true. You have to learn to look after yourself first before you can start looking after others! Self-care is so important and you’ve got to put yourself first x
Is it bad that I do none of these when it comes to me? xD I’m finally doing therapy next year so here’s hoping I’ll finally understand what it’s like to be kind to yourself! Great tips, hun! x
Daisy xoxo | TheDeeWhoLived
That’s great to hear your starting driving lessons again! I hope you fly through them and pass your test! It’s always important to put your happiness first, if you’re not happy, then how are you going to make anyone else happy? xx
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
With all of the holiday rush, it is so important to take a little break and take care of yourself. YESSSS on letting go of the negative influences! You only want to surround yourself who will bring the best version of you out. I learned that being a perfectionist isn’t all that- other people don’t see our own perceived flaws as easily as we do. Thanks for sharing!
Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me
Thank you so much for writing this. I really love that you’ve shared this post darling, so many people (including myself) are so hard on themselves sometimes. I’m sending you so much love and festive wishes. 💜🎄
With love, Alisha Valerie x | http://www.alishavalerie.com
Great post! I’ve been thinking about this lately, and have decided that I need to be as supportive of myself as I am to others. After I workout, I think, what would I tell my husband? I shower myself with kindness, thinking that I’m strong, powerful, and I did it. Each time, I start to believe it a little more, and I embrace feeling proud of myself. I’m so glad I’ve been doing this lately! It truly makes a difference. Thank you so much for sharing!
Good advices 💖 thanks for sharing.
Asking for help is always a big one – it’s a sign of strength some people are scared of x
These are amazing tips <33 I completely agree about letting go of negative influences. That's why I try to unfollow or block people or influencers on Instagram who make me feel bad about myself and my life.
Hannah the Mad Dog
Letting go of negative influences was something I did in 2018 and something that has really aided in me feeling much better about everything this year. It’s so true that having the best people around you, brings out the best in you! xx
Jessie | jessie-ann.co.uk
These are all such great ideas! It can be so hard to be kind to ourselves. Putting ourselves first can feel selfish but I know I need to slow down on bad days! I just need to put it into practice!
I’ve spied some other great blogs you’ve written so off to read some more!
It can be so important to put your happiness first and not always put others before you x
oh how i needed to read this post today! it can be so simple for ya all to get wrapped up in what we aren’t doing right or haven’t achieved, especially with the increase of family gathering this time of year it’s nice to be reminded of ways we can be kinder to ourselves. xx
mich / simplymich.com
Well I didn’t realise how badly I needed this post in my life until I just devoured it. If you ever find easy answers to not be hard on yourself, learn how to relax and boost confidence in yourself, please let me know – they are things I relate to so much. I love your idea though – go into the New Year thinking positive thoughts and what I need to work on. Inspiring post as usual!
Take a break. Yes! That does not mean giving up and sometimes it is the thing we need to come back to the job with fresh eyes and a happier heart.
This is great advice! I fully admit that I am guilty of giving into my perfectionist nature, tearing myself down in the process. I catch myself doing it from time to time. Thank you for the (much-needed) reminder.
This is a fantastic post – I love a bit of self love and reflection! We are too hard on ourselves and I’m also going to be trying to be kinder next year. Thank you for sharing! X
Giving myself a break is something I struggle with! x
This is some great advice. I’m such a perfectionist and I don’t know how to relax, I always feel like I should be doing something! I’ll work on that in the new year.
I definitely agree with all these points! It’s so important to be kind with ourselves. Personally } know I get anxious on Sundays so like to have a slow day, with lots of self care and I find it does me good for heading into the next week 🙂 if I’m feeling down, I sometimes allow myself that moment and think to myself that its fine to feel that way! Otherwise if i beat myself up I feel worse! Fab post and you look lovely in your photo! Hannah (www.hannahshappyhour.com) xxx
As my own biggest critic, I need to take more notice of posts like this and actually begin to put some things into practice! Thank you for breaking them down so well.
This is a great post, and something I’m really trying to be better at. Especially letting go of the negative people in life. Today I actually managed to do just that on Twitter. Made a comment and someone else reacted way out of control to it and instead of getting pulled into a big argument and let it ruin my mood, I deleted my original comment, unfollowed the negative commenter and muted the conversation. And it feels so good ❤️
You’re absolutely correct. We’re taught the importance of being kind to others but so many of us fail to be kind to ourselves. One of the most helpful things for me to keep in mind is that if I don’t take care of myself I don’t have the energy to give my love and attention to others.
By the way I love your eyes!
These are some really good points. I feel like I’m my own worst enemy sometimes, and way harder on myself than I would be to anyone else.
Thanks for the tips!
Em X
http://Www.emsworldblog.com
Love all of these. Totally agree with you on them.
https://littlemissmelanie.com/
I absolutely adore every single thing on this list. It is so important to treat ourselves kindly. So many people don’t. In fact, I can name so many times that I was unkind to myself or judged myself harshly. Honestly, even telling myself that my accomplishments aren’t that great. We really need to start being more positive with ourselves ♥ Love this so much!
Asking for help is something that I’ve had to train myself to do (like you I’m an independent person) but it’s so important to do it when you need to! x
https://www.femaleoriginal.com
It took me years, way too many in all honesty to realise that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness.
Sarah 🌺 || Boxnip || Latest Post
This is a really great and insightful post!
Definitely needed it this week!
I’m learning to slow down but its definitely hard
Great suggestions! I always feel bad for doing nothing but I guess I need the time off now and again to be able to perform my best in other situations.
I’m going to bookmark this post for me to keep looking back at! I’m terrible at being kind to myself. I guess that it’s hard to do when you think so little of yourself. Thank you so much for this post, lovely! xxx
Daisy xoxo | TheDeeWhoLived