My Self Confidence Struggle & How I Increase My Confidence


A lot of people will know, I struggle with self confidence, even though I have a tough exterior and I come across like I could take on the world, in all honesty I am not as strong as you might think. I always need a good confidence boost but not only that there are lots of things that I do that really does boost my confidence, however it does take time for me to be able to boost my confidence. People often ask me how come you’re so confident? But I’m not, I feel like I have to put on a façade for people, it’s like my power armour, you can’t go out without it. It’s like walking out the door naked,  very few people would, but if I act confident, it’s a way of people not asking me what is wrong or if I am okay. Want to find out how I increase my self confidence? Let’s go.

1. Focus On The Things You Love About Yourself 

This might sound strange, but there is always something you like about yourself, it can be your smile, your eyes, your shape, your strength, it’s the little things that mean a lot. Instead of focusing on the things that you hate it can help to just change the way you think about things.

2. Accept That We All Make Mistakes

Nothing kills self confidence more than beating yourself up over the fact that you’ve done something wrong, I have learned this lesson the hard way. I’ve learned that it is okay to make mistakes, own it, accept it, and remember that you’re not your mistakes, you’re not any of that, you’re an incredible person!

3. Compliment Yourself Daily

 This is one that I am honestly still struggling with, because it can be quite difficult especially if people might think you’re being a little shallow, however it is something that I am learning well. I’ve learned it’s the little things like complimenting myself for making an amazing breakfast or when I get my eyeliner perfect.

4. Look At The Positives

Remember that saying where people say when a door closes a window opens Well it’s true, just because something hasn’t gone the way that you wanted it, doesn’t mean that it won’t happen for you. It just takes time, look at what you’ve learned from the experience, what have you gained? It will be okay, remember that.

5. Help Others

I find this incredibly helpful which is why I do a lot of tips on my blog to hopefully help others in the long term, I find being able to support others helps me to boost my self confidence immensely. It gives me a lot of hope that people do feel less alone in the long run.

6. Celebrate Yourself

This is so important because when you’re looking at the negatives so much you forget the fantastic person you are. And never forget that. Celebrate when things go right, and when things go wrong because you never know how it could work out in the long term.

I still have a lot to learn in terms of self love and self confidence but the important thing is, I’m trying my best, I’m trying to better myself and everything I do, and when I am self confident then it will reflect in the rest of my life. I don’t want to be constantly hating myself and picking flaws in myself because it really is exhausting physically and emotionally and I know that I deserve so much better than that. Self confidence is a journey that won’t ever be easy, it’s not going to be straight forward, but I know that it will be a journey where I can excel and make a huge impact upon my life.

I hope one day that maybe I’ll live in a world where I don’t feel the pressure of society to be a certain size or look a certain way, we can live in hope right?

Do you feel the same? What are you tips for building your self confidence? Leave your response in the comments! 


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  1. Kathryn
    11/04/2016 / 1:41 pm

    This post is so relevant to how I’m feeling right now. It’s a case of me putting on a brave face and everyone thinking I’m doing just fine but my self confidence is something I’m working on.
    I think one of the main factors that helps me is being surrounded by people who make me want to be better, you know? It helps me a lot but of course, there are still down days… We all get them! I find it’s important to just take time for yourself, chill and reflect. x

    Kathryn | Chapters of Kat

    • facebook-profile-picture
      11/04/2016 / 5:10 pm

      Thank you so much Kathryn, it honestly means the world, it’s just so difficult you know when there are so many different influences around you, I want to be the best I can be, but recently I’ve just been so low! Here if you need me sugar?

  2. Tania
    12/04/2016 / 12:53 am

    Some fab tips here! I can relate to some of these right now, especially the mistakes one. I had a really bad week last week and it seemed impossible to pick back up, like the harder you try the worse things get! You always seem so happy on Twitter which is amazing and I always get such a positive vibe from you, but I hope your confidence eventually builds up and you’re okay because you do a brilliant job of making others feel wanted and happy! <3

    Tania | teabee x

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      12/04/2016 / 2:27 pm

      Thank you so much Tania, it honestly means a lot! I think it is just so hard to deal with but I’m definitely getting there, and I am determined to be strong and get through this no matter what! I’m so glad that I’m not alone in feeling like this?

  3. 12/04/2016 / 3:04 am

    This was me at one point in my life. I thought I had nothing in me to feel confident or proud of and there was no was around me to encourage me. That was the best thing that happened to me. I trained myself to believe in me and be proud of everything I have achieved and everything I’m striving for. Sometimes it is best to be alone and not expect anyone else to be there to encourage you.
    There is nothing wrong in putting up a facade. It’s all about faking it till you make it. After some time being confident will become second nature to you. So keep doing what you are doing and keep smiling!!

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      12/04/2016 / 2:28 pm

      Thank you so much Sudhaa! I’m so lucky to have a wonderful and supportive husband, and I’m getting there! I’m working on finding better days and I know I will get there, it will just take time!?

  4. 12/04/2016 / 11:56 am

    I´ve been working on my self confidence for years. I used to be too shy to buy myself some ice but I´ve made great improvements so far and of course I´m hoping there are more improvements to come. It´s almost like a roller coaster; sometimes I feel as though I could take on the world but other times I feel so low that I don´t want to get out of bed because all I´m doing just goes wrong. Right now I´m finding myself somewhere in the middle and these easy tips can really help me make the roller coaster go up again, I´m sure!
    xx Lisa | Following Lisa

    • facebook-profile-picture
      12/04/2016 / 2:30 pm

      I’m so happy that you think the tips could help you! I’m currently taking it one day at a time and understanding how I feel on a daily basis, and the coping mechanisms that I can use. Sending you so much love!?

  5. 12/04/2016 / 12:44 pm

    Great tips! Love how they are coming from your personal experience, feels really relatable all at once. I’ve been struggling with confidence too, so know the feels. Although I have never got how to “act confident”, I’ve always thought people who can “act confident” actually are confident. But my confidence levels are slowly going up finally. 🙂 And happy for you, keep feeling more and more confident every day! 🙂
    With love,

    • facebook-profile-picture
      12/04/2016 / 2:32 pm

      Thank you so much Madara, it honestly means a lot! I think it takes a lot to put on a brave face, I know from personal experience because I honestly feel exhausted, but I’m slowly getting there. If you ever need anything sweetheart, I am here for you!?

  6. Breanna Catharina
    13/04/2016 / 4:52 am

    I wish you nothing but the best of luck on building your self-confidence. It took me some time to build mine as well, but now I write a blog all about loving yourself and being happy! Love yourself honestly and put as much effort into your relationship with yourself as you do with other people. Thanks for sharing. XOXO

    • facebook-profile-picture
      13/04/2016 / 10:00 am

      Thank you so much Breanna it honestly means the world to me!?

  7. 13/04/2016 / 10:42 am

    Such a great post. I struggle with self confidence daily, but I’ll try and put these points into action in the hope they will help me boost my self esteem. I dream of a world where we don’t feel pressured to look a certain way or a certain size! x x

    • facebook-profile-picture
      14/04/2016 / 10:36 am

      Same Aimee, I just hope one day we get what we wish for!?

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