I am not always the most confident person in the world, confidence is something that rises up and down like a wave, and lately I’ve 100% not feeling like myself. As someone who is plus size, as soon as someone looks at you, people assume a lot of things about you. They assume you don’t eat healthily, that you’re jolly (someone actually said that to me once) & that you don’t exercise. All of these things are assumed about you before they even speak to you, and that is something that can literally put your confidence in the bin.
I don’t feel like myself, everything I wear, I don’t feel comfortable, I look in the mirror and I try to see the person looking back at me and I just don’t feel like I recognise the person I’m looking at.
I go into shopping to buy new clothes, and I feel like if you’re plus size the norm is paying about £27.00 for a t-shirt that isn’t cropped and doesn’t have flowers all over it. If you go into a lot of other shops, they don’t go about a size 16, some of them a 14 which is ridiculous if you look at the average. I’m kind of ranting here but you get my general point.
When I go into those shops it makes me feel even worse and it puts such a strain on the relationship I have with my body.
If you have seen my social media lately, I have taken a massive step back from it all, for various reasons which right now I’m probably not going to go into, but if you have seen my social media over the last few days you will probably see why.
One of the other reasons I’ve taken a step back, is because I feel so misrepresented online. If you scroll through Instagram, we are all looking for the best angles, and we all need to remember that one photo that is posted on any social media, is just a moment in time, it doesn’t show an entire story.
Now I follow so many amazing plus size bloggers who literally inspire me to push my boundaries with fashion, who make me realise it is okay to love my body and that I’m not defined by the size of my body.
Kirsty Leanne for one is absolutely bloody amazing, Georgina Grogan from She Might Be Loved and Laura from What Laura Loves UK are literally my everything. They make me feel incredible, inspired and to push myself to be more out there with my fashion choices and to remember it is okay to feel confident.
So like I said I’m basically struggling right now, but I’m determined to work on it. I’m starting to focus on the reasons I am grateful for my body, I’m trying to understand that not every day would be great but as long as I understand that regardless of that my body is great, that is what matters. I’m learning to look beyond the angles, beyond everything when it comes to a photo and just do what makes me happy.
What are your thoughts? What helps you to be body confident? Let me know in the comments!
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Body confidence is hard. There’s no doubt about it. I’m a US 10 (UK 14) which is totally average and yet I always feel huge in comparison to everyone else. I don’t think there’s any simple solution. All you can do is take it day by day and try to accept that the skin you’re in is the skin you’re in.
Sometimes it’s really hard to be confident in your body. No matter what size you are! At a size 10 I’m always in a battle with hating my body even though I know I’m not particularly big & I’m considered healthy… but that doesn’t make me hate my body any less! I think taking a step back from social media can help – specially Instagram. I’ve also followed more body positive pages which are so empowering. Xxxx
I guess we ‘all’ have difficulties to feel confident in our bodies. Nobody is perfect and nobody should judge people by the way they look. We’re all beautiful even if we don’t all look alike. YOU are beautiful.
Try to focus on the things you like about yourself instead of thinking about the things you don’t. I know it’s easier to say but hopefulle it’ll help.
Lots of love xx
I think we have all struggled with body confidence in our lives. Nobody is perfect, everyone is different and most people have something that they don’t like about themselves. We feel judged by those around us, the media, even clothing stores. I’m a size 10 but if you look at the number of the scales, my BMI would tell you I’m overweight, which is horrible to hear.
I think the most important thing is to focus more on the things you do like, even love about yourself. For me, that’s my eyes and my smile.
I’ve always struggled with body confidence, even now at 48 when I shouldn’t really give a toss but I still do. I’ve hated taking steroids because I got the typical moon face, buffalo hump and just generally feel like the Stay Puft marshmallow man from Ghostbusters lol You’re right though, social media can easily make you feel completely crap about yourself. When I lost all my hair in Dec 2017, that made me feel even worse about myself. I try to just saw screw it but it isn’t always easy. Far too much ‘perfection’ on places like Instagram that is just not attainable because it isn’t really reality. 🙂 x
Sarah 🌺 || Boxnip
I hope you can find your confidence again because you’re gorgeous! Seriously, I’m so envious over how beautiful your skin is. Confidence, especially body-confidence, is such a hard thing. I’m going through a stage where I just don’t care (and not in a relaxed, confident way either) and I know give it a few weeks and then I’ll be caring too much and it will go from one extreme to another. I hope you can find some balance.
Body confidence is so hard when we’re surrounded by perfection all the time, no matter what size you are. I’m sorry that you’re taking a step back from social media because of it though! But I’m glad you have those amazing women to help you feel better too. I have no idea what makes people body confident, feel free to let me know if you manage to figure it out 😂 x
Sophie
http://www.glowsteady.co.uk
Body confidence is so difficult, especially when shops don’t have the same sizing’s…I’m looking at you to shop and h&m! Social media definitely plays a part too doesn’t it?! Sometimes it can be hard to see that a photo is staged, edited and not 100% true and it can really knock you!
I don’t know the secret to body confidence, I guess it is all I individual, but if I did I would bottle it up and sprinkle it around for everyone!
Aimsy xoxo
https://www.aimsysantics.co.uk
I’m definitely not confident at all, in fact it seems to be at an all time low. I’ve always have a real issue with my body and food, it caused awful mental health problems for me a while back and I need to work hard so it doesn’t repeat itself.
http://littlemissmelanie.com
Body confidence is soooo hard and it’s definitely something I’ve struggled with more and more as I’ve got older. You’re absolutely right about angles and photos being a snapshot in time, What we see on social media is rarely real and most probably took gazillions of photos and editing for that perfect brand shot. I think focussing on being grateful for what your body can do is a brilliant mindset, it’s something I try to do (doesn’t always work) but it’s about taking one step at a time and not forcing things. Fab post, Amie x
Lisa | http://www.lisasnotebook.com
Being body confident can be really hard sometimes, I’ve been feeling the same recently and it can be really hard to get out of your head. I’ve been trying really hard not to compare myself to others as that’s my problem and it has been working! X
SOmetimes I feel the same, but it is good to just take a step back and remove yourself from all of the socials and reflect.
I’m not body confident at all and I’ve always struggled with seriously and dangerously low self esteem. Even when I was at my personal ideal weight and I was the fittest I’ve ever been, I’d look in the mirror and hate myself. It’s an ongoing struggle for sure! And can definitely change and go up and down depending on a variety of factors!
Jenny in Neverland
Body confidence is such a difficult thing to manage! I lost two stone last year and now I’ve put on a few pounds and it’s making me feel so awful but it shouldn’t! x
http://www.ofbeautyandnothingness.co.uk
My body confidence isn’t great and it’s so hard to get my confidence up, but I think I’ve just got to embrace my flaws now and just accept my body the way it is! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
I agree with everybody else when they say that body confidence is hard and, as you say, it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. I am no different. I think age plays a part in body confidence but it also helps to remember that what we consume online is so carefully curated. Whether that is images or words. Nothing is ever as it seems online as there is always so much more behind it. I realise that the day to da can also be tricky, with shops only catering for certain sizes. I too find things tricky. Although I am not necessarily classed as plus size, I have my own issues with shopping when it comes to dressing the melons that reside on my chest! So, I often think it can help (but not always!) to remember that we all have issues and those that are entirely carefree when it comes to body confidence are few and far between.
PS – Not only is this a lovely picture but your eyelashes look gorgeous!
Amy
http://missamyrach.com
I can definitely relate to this – I’m currently on a journey to become more body confident with myself and I have days where I feel like a potato! But even on bad days, I can always find something nice to say about my body and I think you are a beautiful lady! xxxx
I totally feel you. I feel like women of all sizes will beat themselves up and see the negatives, and be jealous of other’s “perfect” bodies etc. I think we all need to work on our confidence and not being affected by other factors!
Rhianna x
http://www.tsundokugirl.com
I’d love to say x, y and z will you help with body confidence. But I literally have no clue. Body confidence is such a hard subject to talk about for most of us; so well done you for opening up about it!
Kayla | http://www.kaylajayne.co.uk
Body confidence is so hard because the only person that can really help is yourself. I struggle a lot too, to the point where half of the time I just end up wearing the same skinny jeans and baggy t-shirt that basically hides any shape that I actually have. It’s great that you’ve acknowledged you’re struggling though, it will be the first step of getting you on the right track. You are beautiful and you will get there!
Abi xo | http://www.wanderlustdaydreaming.co.uk
I think all of us suffer with our body confidence sometimes. Social media definitely doesn’t help as there isn’t a lot of representation as you said. I’m so glad to hear that you’re following people on Instagram who inspire you, that’s so important! For me personally I always feel a lot more confident when I’m wearing my favourite outfit, accessories or fragrance x
https://www.femaleoriginal.com
Body confidence is something I believe we all have to work through at some point in our lives, often many different times at different stages, so know you’re not alone! I agree, it’s frustrating to see the retail world basically pushing the ‘ideal body’ by limiting the sizes available so much!
I’ve suffered with body confidence and being okay in my skin for pretty much my entire life, especially since the style closest to my heart is gothic fashion: it tends to be very feminine and sometimes very revealing and while corsetry is a thing… I just feel massive (18UK) when I attend conventions, concerts and the like with all these itty bitty morbid things around me.
In recent years I’ve become a bit more merciful to myself because due to hormonal issues there really is very little I can do about my size at the moment so I’ve begun to accept that, for the time being… I will be the chunky girl in black lace. That doesn’t eliminate peoples’ assumptions though.
“You’re lazy. You eat too much.” Yada yada yaaaaaada. It gets tiresome and after a while you start adopting the mindset of people who look down on you and start looking down on yourself. It’s so annoying that people can get under your skin with assumptions that you know aren’t even true but somehow you still let them get to you. :/
What helps me be body confident is my friends and partner, really. They’ll be the first to tell me I’m fine the way I am, that I look pretty in the stuff I wear.
It’s so much easier to hear the opinion of Negative Nelly than a Positive Polly but as I approach the dreaded 35 (September, eek!), thankfully maturity is stepping into play and telling me, you know… YOLO. This is who I am.
Maybe one day I’ll be 100% with everything, and hopefully you will too, because you’re very beautiful just the way you are. 🙂
I think body confidence is something that everyone struggles with at different points in our lives. It’s hard but having people you can look up to and have as a positive inspiration definitely helps. I feel that stores should do more sizes than they currently range for, it automatically puts people down because they don’t match the ‘desired look’ that is shoved everywhere in social media and shops.
This is so me right now. I’m a size 16 and I just feel awful in everything I hate going into shops and half the items don’t even go up to a 16 and you feel alien to rest of society. I completely know how you feel and I really hope that you start to find your confidence again. You’re gorgeous 💗
Body confidence can be difficult and when talking to people they all say oh you look fine. No one is in your head and knows how you feel about yourself and it’s tough 🙁
Oh my gosh, darling someone finally has done a blog post about exactly how I am a feeling – thank you! Please know you’re not alone in feeling like this, I am sending all of the love in the world your way sweetheart 🌸💜
With love, Alisha Valerie x | alishavalerie.com
my relationship with my body is horrendous. I go through really dark phases where i worry about the silliest of things about how i look and feel and it drives me to the brink of madness. it is so good to know that i am not the only one who struggles with feelings like this!
Rosie
Develop self-confidence can come with some challenges but at the end of the day, it is not impossible to conquer them. I hate that society is so misrepresented lately. I saw a post about how Khloe posted how some powder helped her achieve her current look and another influencer asked, what about having a personal chef, trainer, nutrition, and etc that is not mentioned.
I know you can build the self-confidence. I believe in you and you always look gorgeous.
Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me
I honestly don’t get why high street stores don’t get that if they just made everything standard sizes & tried to make people feel better more people would be confident when it comes to shopping!
“fake it till you make it” is my motto for body confidence and so far its working well!
Body confidence is such a big issue, especially with the presence of social media. My relationship with my body at the moment isn’t great. I’ve been struggling to put on weight for a while now, and just the other day I had a boy I barely know tell me I look ‘unhealthy’ which is the last thing anyone with body confidence issues needs. Honestly, stepping back and practicing self-love is the best thing to do. At the end of the day, although easier said than done, what others say or think shouldn’t impact how we feel about ourselves. Thank you for sharing such a personal struggle, just know that you’re not alone! xx
Evie x | http://www.eviejayne.co.uk
This is very relatable! I struggle with body positivity too! Thanks for sharing this 💜
https://jendbibliophile.wordpress.com
It’s so difficult in this era to feel body confident despite everyone telling you that you should x
This so resonates with me! Thank you for sharing this part of yourself. Most of us shy away from discussing our body image issues.
Adore your blog btw ❤️
Love,
Shalvika
Body confidence is a really difficult topic, and something I struggle with regularly. I know it sounds cliché but I find that exercising or practising yoga makes me feel so much more in tune with my body and helps me feel more comfortable in myself! Plus my boyfriend’s a huge help in boosting my confidence. Just remember you’re beautiful Amie – the negative thoughts will pass eventually. I hope you get back in the groove of things soon! xx
El // Welsh Wanderer
It’s so, so hard to be body confidence in todays society. We’re constantly being taught that we’re not thin enought or good enough unless we’re thin. It’s a long battle, and one I am still fighting, but the truth is I still haven’t found anything that makes me feel body confident.
I just know I’ve stopping following weight loss and unrealistic, harmful social media channels. I’m not focusing fully on self acceptance, love and body-positivity or all sizes.
I’ve recently gone up a dress size and when you’ve been the same size for several years, it can be a really hard adjustment to make! There’s been some tears, but I’ve had nothing but support and motivation from my partner and friends who I’ve confided in.
At the end of the day, our bodies are amazing and capable of so much. I keep trying to tell myself that I’d never be so mean about someone else’s body, and need to be kinder to my own.
First of all, woman, you are absolutely gorgeous.
With that out of the way.
Having the downs about your body sucks big time. One tip that works for me is forcing myself to be positive about my body. Look in the mirror and say at least one positive thing about yourself. The next day say two, then three and so on. It can help get the body back on track.
Also thinking about the inner voice as a ugly roommate named Karen, with a bad haircut and old cheese breath helps a lot. No one would take anything she has to say seriously 😋
I hope you get back to a more positive place soon ❤️❤️❤️
Love, Raven
Body confidence is so hard. I’m terrible for comparing myself to other people, and of late seem to be putting a negative spin on my own image.
I don’t think there is a single person out there who can look in the mirror and not pick out something they dislike, so maybe focus on things you do like about yourself?
Em x
http://Www.emsworldblog.com
Social media is so ‘in your face’ these days. We’re bombarded with images of the ‘ideal body’, when it’s more than likely those images have been digitally altered in some way. I find that having a social media ‘detox’ can be helpful for getting some perspective and being a bit more objective about my body image.
Sending lots of love Amie! <3 I wish you comforting times and that peace with your mind and body comes to you soon and hope you thoughts and mental well-being heal. You’re a beautiful soul and although I don’t pop up here regularly I’ve been following you for a long time. Look after yourself lovely. You are gorgeous and an admiration to me!
Ellie Xx
https://elliebowsandsparkles.blogspot.com