My Depression Journey

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I’m A Survivor

Depression has done a hell of a lot to me, physically, mentally and emotionally and it is one of the toughest battles I have ever had to fight, and it is one that unfortunately I am still fighting everyday, I sometimes wish that I wasn’t but unfortunately there is nothing that I can change about that now, I just need to realise that I will get there and as long as I have the people I love around me, everything will be okay.

Taking A Step Back

Sometimes things can get a little too much, and not only do I know that but the people around me know that too so it can really help when it comes to noticing the signs. When I do have a terrible day with my depression, it is important to take time out, it is important to turn off the phones, say goodbye to social media and make sure that I am focusing on me.

Sometimes when I get so into things it means that I forget that taking time for me is important too, but getting the balance is definitely a struggle, and one that a lot of us face, and I know with my depression it really does peak when I put myself under too much pressure.

Triggers

Lots of people have different triggers, but for me one of the biggest things was losing my Nan, if you missed that post, click here and you can have a read. Things like bereavement, divorce, illnesses, money worries, job worries, divorce or any traumatic event could potentially cause a person to slip into depression.

 Adjusting

I have been on medication, I’m not going to deny it, if I hadn’t I probably wouldn’t be alive writing this post (I know that is a bit morbid but I’m being honest) and I am not saying that medication is the answer to all of your problems, trust me it isn’t, there is no magic medication that will automatically take it away. The good news is that I am currently coming off medication (YAY!) it’s taking a while, it’s a slow process and adjusting is terrifying, especially where for the past 3 years of my life I’ve been fighting so hard, and now I am finally winning.

For anyone who struggles or has seen someone struggle with anything to do with mental health, you will understand how difficult it might be, however, even taking baby steps forward like challenging yourself to push your boundaries a bit further. For me it was going out the house on my own, I can now go for a walk in my local area without having my husband or anyone else with me.

I am slowly getting there, I’m not saying it’s going to be something that gets better automatically, but I’m enjoying my good days but in my bad days, I take them in my stride because those bad days will build better days.

Conclusion

The mental health battle is tough, it’s not as straight forward as calm down, or that saying smile it might never happen which drives me mad, making positive steps forward can be one of the scariest things you can do, but it gets better. If someone you know is going through this, please urge them to talk about it or see someone.

Mental health is just as important a physical health, healthy happiness can be achieved, I promise.

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14 Comments

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      10/10/2015 / 6:06 pm

      Thank you so so much darling, it was difficult, but honestly I feel so much better for talking about it <3

  1. 10/10/2015 / 3:26 am

    Thank you for sharing your story with us, Amie. I think this is something that requires as much awareness as possible, specifically from people with real stories.

    Depression is something I personally deal with as well. It isn’t as bad as before because I cut out the triggers of it from my life as best as I possibly can. I’m lucky that my triggers can be blocked out, but something as traumatic as what you’re going through cannot be buried. The severity of my depression was at height a few months ago (I’ll be honest, like you and say if it weren’t for the measures I took to stop it, I wouldn’t be here too) and I’m so glad I took positive steps.

    Opening up to people you love and letting people love you is so important, I find. I opened up to my boyfriend who was nothing short of supportive and it was the best move I’ve made.

    Lots of love to you, Amie. It gets better. <3

    May | THE MAYDEN

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      10/10/2015 / 6:04 pm

      Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment, it honestly means a lot. I’m not going to lie, I will always have bad days, but what gives me faith is the fact that those bad days will hopefully build better ones and as long as I have the people I love I know I am going to be okay. I’m so proud of you for your honesty I know talking about mental health isn’t that easy because there can be stigma attached to that but I hope with more people talking about it, the stigma will go. <3

  2. 10/10/2015 / 8:30 pm

    Hi, you know…if someone is sick phisically ppl would try to help and understand. When it comes to depression it’s a bit different. Unfortunatelly! It’s more like person make up mess by no reason which is totally wrong. Dep is great way and opportunity to learn and hrow however haard and unpleasent might be. You just work out with your therapist on yourself and you will get over it when time cones. Thanx for sharing your story with us. Regards, Rahela xxx http://www.raheladrusko.com

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      11/10/2015 / 1:00 pm

      I completely agree, I think sometimes people can be scared of it and not know what to say, I know some of my family were because they didn’t want to upset me or make it worse, but I think what really helped me was my family being open to learning more about it. I had therapy for a few months and it didn’t help in my case but I know in lots of people’s case it does, I’ve grown more without it than I did with it, but I am an advocate for getting help in a way that suits you 🙂 <3

  3. 11/10/2015 / 8:57 am

    This was such a brave thing to post and I’m sending all the positive energies I can your way. I’m lucky in that I’m in a fairly good place right now, but I find that whenever my anxiety gets worse depression seems to come along as well. I just try to remember that it’s not my fault, it’s an illness like any other and deserves to be treated as such. Thank you for sharing, I hope you keep working towards getting better. <3

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      11/10/2015 / 1:03 pm

      I am exactly the same, when it comes to my anxiety when it gets worse self doubt starts, I question myself, I question everything and I end up thinking so negatively but I know that those bad days will get better and I know that I am never alone <3

  4. 11/10/2015 / 9:37 am

    Very honest and touching, thanks for sharing this. I hope your positive journey continues keep strong 🙂

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      11/10/2015 / 1:06 pm

      Thank you so much darling, it honestly means a lot, I am strong and I know that I will get there through the good days and the bad! <3

  5. Amy
    12/10/2015 / 8:05 pm

    It’s so important for people to share their experiences like this. I’ve suffered on and off for nearly ten years and my brother has just had a really awful couple of years and is starting to come out the other side. One of the biggest turning points for him was finding out a friend was suffering in the same way, and having someone understand what he was going through. It’s great that it sounds like you’re starting to come out the other side too. Remember to be proud every time you take a new step, no matter how big!

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      13/10/2015 / 12:12 pm

      I can’t deny how incredible it is to have someone who understands that you’re close to, you have t hat moment where you just feel like a weight has been lifted off your chest, you don’t have to put on a smile to hide how you feel, you can just be yourself! <3

  6. 15/02/2016 / 5:16 pm

    Thank you for sharing such a brave post, (I know this was written a while ago but I found it and wanted to read it) I’ve been going through a ‘rough patch’ for around 3 years now which is an awfully long time to be in such a dark place. I’ve had help from the amazing child line counselors and been given coping techniques for anxiety and depression (as well as being urged to tell an adult) but it’s only been recently when I’ve finally decided to open up and get help. It’s been a really hard decision but hopefully my family will understand.

    Thank you for this,
    Daizy from| http://www.ZyaandDaizy.wordpress.com

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      15/02/2016 / 5:51 pm

      I’m so grateful Daizy for your comment. It is so hard to open up, it is because you’re worried about what will happen if they are going to react, but congratulations on taking such a positive step, you should be so proud of yourself. Your family will understand darling, they love you and want you to be happy, and that is the most important thing, that you’re happy and healthy! I’m here if you need anything💜

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