Am I Supposed To Have My Life Together At 23?

I’ve been thinking lately a lot about my life, where I want to go, what I want to do and where I want to be in my life. I have an incredible husband, you will probably get bored of me bashing on about it, but outside of my marriage, what do I want? I see people who are younger than me and have their life together and I’m holy guacamole am I supposed to have my life sorted by now? Let’s be honest before we start, I most definitely don’t.

I feel like I make a lot of mistakes, I’m by no means perfect (I wrote about the mistakes I’ve made right here) and as a child we all have this vision of the way that we want our lives to be, where we want to be in our lives but it doesn’t always work out like that. Do you know what though, even though I didn’t have it planned out this way I’m at my happiest.

I feel like I still have so much growing up to do, I still have so much to learn about life and I think having everything together is more of a process of life.

I don’t even know if I will ever have it all together but as long as I am trying every day to balance my life, to make it work, to be happy and healthy!

I think what doesn’t help is I turn 24 in August, and even though my family say oh that’s young you will figure it out, honestly I feel like I’m so far behind it’s ridiculous. What I try to remind myself of is the fact that everyone has a rollercoaster life, we all go through different things, with my mental health it has honestly thrown my life off course, but I’m so much better than I was and I feel fabulous!

What I’ve learned is the worst thing I can do is to compare where I am in my life to others, it’s not fair on them and it’s definitely not fair on me. Just because they are at their point doesn’t mean I have to be there right this second. We all go through something, we are all on this crazy rollercoaster, and it’s not a race to see who can get to the finish line first!

Don’t feel like you have to have everything together by a certain age, you don’t!

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

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12 Comments

  1. 29/04/2017 / 11:51 am

    Thank You for this! Sometimes you just need a little reminder! I can definitely relate to this, I follow and know a lot of high-flyer successful people and it can make me feel very inferior and like I should have done a lot more by this point in my life.

    You’re right, everyone has their own struggles – be it mental health or other things – and everyone has their different ideas of success and where they want to be in life and we’ve got all our lives to achieve that, it’s a learning curve and it’s definitely not a race to the finish!

    Your family are right – you are still so young, and you’re already happily married and on the path to where you want to be – that’s a hell of a lot further than I am! But I love what you’ve said about not comparing yourself – definitely my biggest challenge – as it doesn’t help anyone!

    JosieVictoriaa // Fashion, Travel & Lifestyle

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      29/04/2017 / 1:14 pm

      Couldn’t have put it better myself Josie! Success isn’t the same for everyone and I think in this day and age it’s defined by money & your career and that’s hard! Xxxxx

  2. 29/04/2017 / 12:20 pm

    Dont worry I am much more older than you and I am still trying to ‘figure it out’ having said that I am more chill now (maybe because I am older hence wiser) and I just want to carry onm being happy with my partner and our 3 months baby.

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      29/04/2017 / 1:15 pm

      Congratulations on your baby my lovely! I hope you’re setting into life with your gorgeous little one! Xxxx

  3. 29/04/2017 / 1:02 pm

    I’ve known of people whose life was in shambles by 20 but they patched things up and lived good lives thereafter. But, I’ve also known people who had it all figured out early on, only for life to throw them a cure ball after. Life is definitely a roller coaster!

    You never know where things may take you. I don’t think that we have to move forwards, I just think we have to move.

    Steph
    http://www.socialspying.com

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      29/04/2017 / 1:16 pm

      Totally agree, we can do anything we put our minds to, it just takes time, just keep moving forward and see where life takes us! Xxxx

  4. 29/04/2017 / 2:30 pm

    I’m feeling the pressure as I’m 21 and only just going into uni so when I leave at 24, all my friends will have ‘proper jobs’ or mortgages but I have to remind myself a lot that I absolutely, definitely should not have my life together now or in a couple of years!
    Thank you for writing this!!

    Jess
    Xxx

    Jessiesjournalsite.wordpress.com

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      29/04/2017 / 2:34 pm

      It’s definitely so hard because there is so much pressure to have it all, but you’ve always got to do what makes you happy, not the world! Xxxx

  5. 01/05/2017 / 6:29 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this post babe and being so open. Babe I’m 29 in two months time and I have no clue about what’s going on in my life, haha! I haven’t the slightest clue of who I am, what I’m doing or where I want to be. But I know I want more than the typical 9 to 5 job, 2.5 kids and flashy car… But as long as I am happy then I don’t mind. ??✨
    With love, Alisha Valerie. x
    http://www.AlishaValerie.com | http://www.twitter.com/AlishaValerie

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      03/05/2017 / 5:43 pm

      I totally agree with you, it’s not as straight forward as people might think, and when you’ve been through so much it does get difficult. Focusing on your own happiness is the most important thing though! xxxxx

  6. 14/05/2017 / 9:28 pm

    Oh my god, thank you for this post! It’s really hard not to compare myself to people I went to school with who already have their degrees and jobs and seem to be going from one success to another. I feel like I should have done more by my age (27), but I’m trying to accept where I am and that I’m working towards my goals at the pace that I am able to. And if I look back over the last few years I have made so much progress with my mental health and what I’m able to do day-to-day, so I’m trying to focus on what I have achieved and not what others have. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses.

    Thank you again for writing this, it’s so good to have a reminder that we don’t have to have it all together all the time.

    Beccah xx
    thehonestolive.com

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      20/05/2017 / 5:56 pm

      You’re welcome darling! I think we all get like that, but remember we are all on our own paths, and we all have our own goals in life! You’re doing an amazing job – don’t forget that! xxxx