The last weeks I’ve been feeling incredibly lost with my life in general, where things have been going, what I’ve been doing, my blog, my entire world. It’s such a crushing feeling that I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. That is one of the reasons that going away to Brighton last weekend was absolutely perfect because it was so needed, at least to just hit the reset button on my emotions!
I guess when you’re younger you have this perfect image of what your life is going to end up looking life, whether we are going to be a teacher, a doctor, how many children we are going to have the type of person we are going to have by our side, we attempt to have that all mapped out. It’s like that perfect story, a little fairy tale for us all to want to believe in. It feels so complicated now we are living our lives, I look back at the times when I was in secondary school and I think wouldn’t it be so much easier to go back sometimes!
I think the reason I feel so lost all of the time is because for so long I have been on medication, I’ve been battling depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, I didn’t leave the house on my own for about 2 years and now I am finally getting back to where I want to be, moving forward and I put so much pressure on myself to have my entire life figured out now. I am so impatient.
I have all these questions, all these whys, what if’s, what am I doing, all these things just rattling around in my head.
I want my life to be a happy one, a fulfilled one, to be surrounded by the people I love more than anything.
I think what I’m learning right now is you don’t have to have everything to feel better, even still you can feel so lost. People look at me with my husband and think that everything is perfect. I have an incredible life with the people I love, I don’t have everything and do you know what, that is okay, I don’t think you need everything in life, it gives you something to strive for, to work hard for and to remind yourself to never give up.
I’m reminding myself that when I feel lost, I need to look around me, who do I have beside me, what are the positives in my life, what am I grateful for? Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of what we have to bring us back to our lives.
When all of these questions are just rattling around in your head, never forget what an absolutely incredible human you are. It will be okay. You’re lost right now but you will be found again.
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