It’s been a long old road for me to coming off medication, and I’ve officially been off meds for about 4 months now, but I am only getting round to writing this post now because it is still a little bit of a sore subject for me, mainly because I still feel like I’m struggling with my mental health. Not in a horrendous way, but sometimes I do get emotional for no reason and I just feel like I’m going backwards, when I’m not I’m just having a bad day.
Struggling with any sort of mental health issue is tough, because sometimes there will be amazing days and others you don’t even want to move, get out of bed or do anything. It is one of the worst feelings ever but it gets better, it will get better and I promise you this, you are not alone.
Previously I went through a really god awful time because I was receiving death threats for talking about my self harm story, triggering I know, I did make it clear with the trigger warning, however people told me that I should have died when I tried to commit suicide, and that st me back so much. But I’ve been so lucky to make some amazing friends who supported me through what was one of the most difficult times ever and I got through it.
Coming off medication was one of the most difficult things ever because I was suffering from some serious withdrawal symptoms, I was getting grumpy, my migraines were so much worse, my moods were all over the place but do you know what? It was all worth it! Hear me out here.
The reason I say that it was worth it is because I don’t want to rely on medication anymore, I want to feel more like me, not because I wasn’t me in the first place but because I felt like my depression had overtaken my life and I didn’t want that for myself anymore, I wanted me back, the person who was bubbly, smiley, opinionated at the worst of times and I feel like now I’m getting there.
I am not saying that coming off medication got me back to who I was, it was a long fight especially with the help of doctors & my incredibly psychiatrist we both came to the decision I was ready and it was time for me to do it, and do you know what it was for me, but everyone is different!
I’m getting back to the person who I used to be and it is an absolutely fabulous feeling. I promise you that you can get to this point too, it might seem dark right now, it might seem like you will never get to that point, but I was there, it is the worst feeling, you feel numb, you want to cry & hide from the world, but you are not alone, I will support you through this, I believe in you.
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