Now let’s be honest, periods are probably not the best part of a girl’s month, I mean let’s be honest it has to be 5 of the most painful days of the month! Our hormones are all over the place, we can have the worst mood swings, and I know full well that no one ever wants to be around me when I’m on mine because I’m literally not a friendly person. Mood swings are definitely not my friend, so what honestly goes through a girls mind when we are on our period?
1. I’m hungry feed meeeee.
I’m always hungry when I’m on, I can’t help it, I just need a constant supply of food. Cake, chocolate, crisps, sweets, basically anything that isn’t healthy for me, I need it. It’s not a want.
2. Why does it have to be so painful?
Uggghh it feels like there is someone trying to kill me in my uterus, why are you doing this to me?
3. I look about 5 months pregnant.
Why is my bloating so bad this month, I’m waiting for someone to come up to me and say oh when are you due? I’M NOT I’M MENSTRUATING.
4. Don’t make me get out of bed today.
I am too sore, to tired and in too much to move, I just can’t do it today.
5. I hate everyone.
I don’t want to be friendly, I don’t like anyone, you will get the wrath of Amie if you try to talk to me, unless you say I’ve won the lottery then it is a completely different scenario.
6. Is it time to eat yet?
Like I said I need a constant supply of food, if I haven’t eaten in about 10 minutes it’s time to bloody eat.
7. I feel like I’ve put on about 3 stone.
This bloat is crazy, I feel so heavy, why body do you do this to me, I feel so huge.
8. When did I last change?
I’m so bad for this I’m literally like when was the last time I changed, isn’t it time I changed to be on the safe side.
9. What about leakage?! Not on my nice new jeans.
I haven’t done anything wrong, why would my body betray me by leaking over my nice new jeans.
10 I have an amazing outfit that involves white jeans and I can’t wear them.
Is it worth risking? Honestly? No.
11. Why aren’t these painkillers working?
No matter what the strength, it’s always the way, why aren’t these tablets kicking in, or at least taking the edge off this pain.
12. Doughnut anyone?
I need to buy up all the vegan doughnuts and just munch on them. I could eat for Britain.
13. Why can’t guys understand this pain?
To be fair my husband is ridiculously understanding, he is always rubbing my back and cuddling me but this pain is horrendous.
14. Why am I so emotional?
It’s like the little things even lovely things and my eyes think it is a fabulous idea to just turn the waterworks on.
15. My boobs hate me.
Anyone who has periods will understand how painful your boobs can be when you’re on your period. Or when you try to put your bra on and you accidentally catch your nipple awkwardly on your bra. Ouccccch…
16. Gimme a hot water bottle.
I love a good hot water bottle, but in the summer I end up looking like a hot sweaty mess. I look like I have been in the shower or caught in a downpour.
17. Why does my face look like a pizza?
I mean seriously this is so unfair, why does my skin have to breakout like this.
18. No amount of skincare products is helping this spotty face.
Save me. I need to go into hiding right now I feel so damn ugly.
19. My mood swings are like I’m on a viking boat at the fun fair.
One minute I’m happy, one minute I’m grumpy, next minute I want to kill someone.
20. 5 days? This feels like it has been going on for a lifetime.
When can this be over it’s not fair, this pain should be illegal.
21. Why does opening this pad/tampon have to be so loud?
Now everyone knows in the public toilet them someone is on their period, I want to be discreet!
22. Have a happy period are you kidding me?
What the hell is a happy period? I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those, are they are like unicorns?
23. Someone stroke my hair please.
I need love, someone stroke my hair till I fall asleep please, it is needed. call it community service.
24. Who ate all my ice cream?
Who do I need to kill? I have no emergency supply, the shops are closed, someone pull some ice cream out of somewhere and make it into a magic trick.
25. This will all be worth it in the end though.
I’m gonna have some super cute kids, I know it.
26. I’ve run out of pads/tampons. Oh god.
We’ve all that one moment when we’ve come on our period earlier and we have been caught short. Bugger.
27. Would it be okay to drag my duvet down the stairs and lay on the sofa and slowly die?
Yes of course, do it, it is the law.
28. Why do I even pay tax on my pads/tampons?
Surely that isn’t fair, I’ve done nothing wrong & trust me wearing tampons/pads aren’t a damn luxury.
29. Don’t attempt to move me, ever.
I have just got comfy, don’t even bother trying to move me, at your peril okay.
30. I need to have sex.
Being horny on your period is one of the worst things, it’s like body why do you do this to me?
Did I miss something out? Anything else that goes through your mind when you’re on your period? Leave your response in the comments!
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