When it comes to healthy living and weight loss, I have always been honest about how hard I have worked and how difficult it is (trust me it isn’t a walk in the park when it comes to losing weight) however one thing I haven’t talked about is me getting used to how much my body has changed and how I deal with it mentally. When it comes to the way I view my body, all through my teens I had a lot of negative body image because there was the idea of “the perfect” body, and I was always curvy, I would have lumps and bumps in all the wrong places so I would have a lot of negativity when it comes to the way I view my body. I decided that I would talk all about how I have struggled to this day with body dismorphia.
My Weight Loss
I have tried to document my weight loss as much as I physically can and be as open with you as I can be, one thing I do know my weight loss has given me so much, and I can’t believe how far that I’ve come, it’s been a tough journey. As someone who has gone down 9 dress sizes I feel sometimes, regardless of how much of a difference I see in the mirror, how much people might tell me that I’ve lost so much weight, sometimes I feel like the same person who started her journey. To give you a quick catch up, this is one of my before and after photos below.
On the left was me before I started losing weight and the photo on the right is a photo that I took a few weeks ago. I know they are completely different angles, however, you can see a noticeable difference in my face and everything just in general! If you missed my posts about my weight loss and my journey, then please check out these posts.   [3
I would say that I’ve had body dysmorphia for a while in all honesty, probably dating back to when I was at school, I would look at my legs and say that they were way too big which made me look shorter and fatter. I thought that my stomach was out of proportion with everything, I felt like I had a giant pot belly and I looked about 9 months pregnant. When I look back though, I know that all of those things were completely wrong, it was all in my head.
I would have photos taken from different angles, and some of them would be okay and good and I would be okay with it, but others, would literally reinforce my thought process that I was bigger than I thought I was.
The Current Struggle
IWhat I am currently struggling with is where I have lost so much weight, and I might not feel as much change as I would like, I feel like I am going backwards. Not only that I have some lose skin around my stomach and my arms, I am toning and I have got rid of a lot of it, however when to wearing certain clothes they do make me feel a lot bigger, and that is a struggle that I feel constantly. For example the other day I tried on a dress, just in a regular shop, it was in my size I put it on, and in that one moment, I felt like all those 9 dress sizes had been put back on. I was trying so hard not to break down and cry, I knew I had worked so hard with my fitness regime, but I felt like I hadn’t achieved anything just by wearing that dress.
How I Moved Forward
It isn’t as easily said than done with body dysmorphia, I have had therapy for it too which did help me, however, now that I am not in therapy, there are certain things that have helped me. I’ve previously talked about self confidence, and how to improve your self confidence this year and that has all of my tips on it to help you to improve the way that you look at yourself! Link here. When I wrote that post self confidence I was in an incredible place with the way that I looked, and since my mental health went down hill, so has the love that I have for myself!
What are some of the things that you do to make sure that you’re loving your body? Leave your tips in the comments!
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