Coming Off Medication

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Honestly coming off medication has to be one of the most scary things in the world, especially when I have been on them for almost 3 if not 4 years. As most people will know I have suffered from anxiety, depression and agoraphobia for a long time now, but in the last year or so, I have been in a really good place, I’m working really hard to battle my mental health and try to get my life back.

I have been ready for a while and when I spoke to my doctor, he agreed that if I was ready and because of the incredible progress that I’ve made over the last year or so, guess who is cutting down their tablets? It literally feels like I’m walking into the unknown knowing I’m coming off my medication. It’s like I’m in a room with the lights on, and taking at step forward and the lights just go off, no one is home.

I’ve already started cutting down my tablets down, I’ve been off amitriptyline for over 2 months, which has been really difficult. One of the things with my depression is that I struggle to sleep, and it has been that way since I first got diagnosed and this was one of the most difficult tablets for me to come off first, because I was mainly worried about if I would sleep. Trust me I’m the moodiest, grumpiest and annoying person when I’ve not had sleep, I mean tired doesn’t even come close.

It’s the next one however I’m most nervous about. My anafranil is my very last anti depressant, and in total honesty, it’s my last step to being anti depressant free. I’ve waited for this for a long time, and I know it will work because I’m so determined to get to where I need to be in my life.

Things I’m Looking Forward To

  1. Being in control of my sleep properly – This is a big one for me because I take tablets to be able to go to sleep, so I’m looking forward to being able to put my head on a pillow and just drift off.
  2. Not have to worry about tablets – Sometimes my biggest worry can be, have I taken my tablets yet, oh god what if I haven’t. I honestly get myself in a right flap about it.
  3. Controlling my anxiety and depression medication free – I have some ways in which I can control my anxiety, I use a lot of mediation because I find it helps me to calm and center myself. Breathing techniques also really help me.
  4. Being able to drink – Oh my gosh I miss a good glass of wine, I drink on the very rare occasions like Christmas however you cannot beat a good glass of wine. And by being off the medication I won’t have to worry about my medication affecting anything!
  5. Sharing my story – I love being able to help others through their journey especially if they are going through what I’ve been through. I know that depression, anxiety and especially agoraphobia can be a lonely journey so if I can help others, it makes me feel much better.

I’m definitely looking forward to being medication free. Been on a mental health journey? Leave your response in the comments!

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22 Comments

  1. Eleanor Austin
    08/02/2016 / 7:30 am

    Awh this is really good news! I hope it all goes well for you and you can start to manage everything without medication. You’ll be drinking that glass of wine in no time!xx

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      08/02/2016 / 9:55 am

      Thank you so much darling, it’s nerve wrecking I have to admit, but I’m definitely looking forward to celebrating being off medication!?

  2. 08/02/2016 / 12:00 pm

    I am so proud of you! I am just so happy for you that not only are you coming off medication but also are ready to talk about it and share your story.. You are one brave and inspiring lady Amie xx

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      08/02/2016 / 1:51 pm

      Thank you so much Rajshree it honestly means a lot! It has take a lot of time to get to this point, but I’m definitely happy that I’ve got here!?

  3. Elena the Mermaid
    08/02/2016 / 9:22 pm

    Aw, I’m excited for you! I’m very much reliant on my meds, and I don’t think there’s any shame in that, but one day I’d like to live without chemical control! Best of luck sweets.

    <3

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      09/02/2016 / 4:33 pm

      Thank you so much Elena, I was at a point where I was reliant on my meds, but there will come a day where you won’t be so dependent on them, just take it one day at a time, you will get there sweetheart!?

  4. 09/02/2016 / 6:54 am

    I’m glad you’re looking forward to coming off your medication, I came off mine just over a year ago and I feel a lot more in control. I guess medication just doesn’t help me. Wishing you all the best 🙂

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      09/02/2016 / 4:36 pm

      Thank you so much Sophie, I think I’m definitely at a point where I feel it is time to come off my medication! I totally agree that a variety of things work different for different people and that is okay. ?

  5. 10/02/2016 / 2:14 pm

    Best of luck! I’m always forgetting to take my tablets and the side effects are awful. Mine also help me sleep so I really struggle without them. I’m not sure when I’m going to feel ready to come off mine but I’m so glad you’re at that stage. Let us know how you get on!

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      10/02/2016 / 4:04 pm

      Thank you so much Becky it honestly means a lot. You will get to that point at some point in your life, don’t rush it though, it’s different for everyone and that is okay. I will do don’t worry! Lots of love darling & thank you so much for your support as always?

  6. 11/02/2016 / 2:00 pm

    I am new to your blog but I genuinely want to wish you all the luck in the world. It must seem scary but wth your positive attitude I’m sure you will get the wishes you hope for x
    http://www.whatrosiewrote.com

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      11/02/2016 / 4:37 pm

      Thank you so much darling, it honestly means the world! I wish you all the love in the world. ?

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      13/02/2016 / 11:33 am

      Thank you so much darling, it honestly means a lot! I’m taking it slowly but surely, but I have to believe I can do this!?

  7. 18/02/2016 / 1:29 pm

    This is such a positive post – good luck with coming off the last anti-depressant. It can be very difficult – I’ve come off medication twice now and had to go back on it. I’m currently off it again, but I’m not coping so I’m seeing the dr next week and I expect to go back onto medication. I’d love to get to a point where I can come off it and stay off it, and that might not be now, but it will be someday. I really hope it all goes well for you! xo

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      18/02/2016 / 5:31 pm

      Thank you so much my darling! Maybe speak to them and see if there is another type of medication you can go on that will work better for coming off at some point. You do what is best for you sweetheart, you will get there darling!?

  8. Lexie
    20/02/2016 / 12:42 am

    Good for you honey- I am not ready to come off of mine just yet (Have been on them nearly two years) but hopefully one day I will X

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      22/02/2016 / 4:06 pm

      Thank you so much Lexie, you do it when you’re ready. Take it one day at a time but speak to your doctor, they might have an easier way to come off them ??

  9. 27/04/2016 / 4:29 pm

    Well done Hun! You have a very positive attitude and it’s a great thing. You should be proud of yourself 🙂

    All the best

    Melissa / http://www.melissazia.co.uk

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      29/04/2016 / 11:09 am

      Thank you so much Melissa it honestly means a lot! It’s been a tough journey but I’m getting there!?

  10. 30/04/2016 / 8:15 pm

    I’ve recently come of my anti depressant after 6 years of being on it. I never thought this day would come and I am so relieved that things are going well so far. My sleep and concentration has improved. I wish you all the luck I kow how incredibly stron you are but if things do get a bit much (and they will) I’m here and remember it’s ok!

    Love x

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      01/05/2016 / 12:01 pm

      I am the exact same, it’s tough when you first start out, it’s like you can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, but when you do some off them, it’s like, wow I never thought this day would come, I’ve achieved something!?