Honestly coming off medication has to be one of the most scary things in the world, especially when I have been on them for almost 3 if not 4 years. As most people will know I have suffered from anxiety, depression and agoraphobia for a long time now, but in the last year or so, I have been in a really good place, I’m working really hard to battle my mental health and try to get my life back.
I have been ready for a while and when I spoke to my doctor, he agreed that if I was ready and because of the incredible progress that I’ve made over the last year or so, guess who is cutting down their tablets? It literally feels like I’m walking into the unknown knowing I’m coming off my medication. It’s like I’m in a room with the lights on, and taking at step forward and the lights just go off, no one is home.
I’ve already started cutting down my tablets down, I’ve been off amitriptyline for over 2 months, which has been really difficult. One of the things with my depression is that I struggle to sleep, and it has been that way since I first got diagnosed and this was one of the most difficult tablets for me to come off first, because I was mainly worried about if I would sleep. Trust me I’m the moodiest, grumpiest and annoying person when I’ve not had sleep, I mean tired doesn’t even come close.
It’s the next one however I’m most nervous about. My anafranil is my very last anti depressant, and in total honesty, it’s my last step to being anti depressant free. I’ve waited for this for a long time, and I know it will work because I’m so determined to get to where I need to be in my life.
Things I’m Looking Forward To
- Being in control of my sleep properly – This is a big one for me because I take tablets to be able to go to sleep, so I’m looking forward to being able to put my head on a pillow and just drift off.
- Not have to worry about tablets – Sometimes my biggest worry can be, have I taken my tablets yet, oh god what if I haven’t. I honestly get myself in a right flap about it.
- Controlling my anxiety and depression medication free – I have some ways in which I can control my anxiety, I use a lot of mediation because I find it helps me to calm and center myself. Breathing techniques also really help me.
- Being able to drink – Oh my gosh I miss a good glass of wine, I drink on the very rare occasions like Christmas however you cannot beat a good glass of wine. And by being off the medication I won’t have to worry about my medication affecting anything!
- Sharing my story – I love being able to help others through their journey especially if they are going through what I’ve been through. I know that depression, anxiety and especially agoraphobia can be a lonely journey so if I can help others, it makes me feel much better.
I’m definitely looking forward to being medication free. Been on a mental health journey? Leave your response in the comments!
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