Dealing With Negativity

At every point in life, we all have negative comments, whether it is on social media, people judging you in the middle of the street, school, the work place, it can happen anywhere, and that is the most difficult thing, but it is also important for us to find ways that we can deal with the negativity and not allow those horrible comments to get to us.

1. Avoid arguments

This sounds easier said than done, however,  by lashing out at someone can make the situation worse in the long run, which isn’t what you need. I am not saying that you don’t have the right to stand up for yourself, but there are lots of reasons why people end up saying things like that but they are looking for a reaction, so by ignoring them or ignoring what they’re talking about, you’re not giving them the opportunity to get to you.

2. Use positivity and empathy to your advantage

You’re an incredible person and being positive can be a brilliant way to deal with negative comments, the reason is if you’re at least trying to change to a positive outlook you can at least try to speak to them about why they might be feeling like this, or what has caused them to feel like this. I know that what the person who is being so negative has no excuse, however there could be reasons a person was feeling like this, maybe they have lost someone, or they’ve been hurt by someone, or they are confused or medication. Don’t ever feel like I condone a person’s actions, but not everything is as clear as they seem.

 3. Talk, talk, talk

When you’re dealing with negative comments try to talk about it. There  is a big difference when it comes to the way comments are made, for example if they are said by someone who knows you, they can hurt more compared to the way they would feel if some anonymous troll online. Be aware that sometimes when you’re online things can be misinterpreted, obviously you can determine that based on what the message says, but try to be aware that not everything is a clean and clear cut as it might seem sometimes.

4. Ignore them

I know that is easier said than done, especially if they are doing something intentional to hurt you, but by not rising to their comments, if it is persistent, like they’re constantly making comments to get to you, maybe what might be a good option is to block their comments, block everything that you can, change your username, so that then you can try to avoid them. Don’t ever feel like you have to respond to them, they’re doing it for a reason, they want to see you rise to the comment and get angry.

5. Confidence is key

Confidence is so important, sometimes people make comments just to be hurtful, however sometimes people try to be honest but it comes across in the wrong way, lord knows how many times that as happened to me, especially over social media so when someone says something hurtful, don’t be afraid to defend yourself, but don’t insult the other person, ask them why they felt the need to insult you, there could be underlying issues.

6. Move forward with your life

Negative comments can be difficult to cope with and it is important to accept the fact the incident, focus on being the greatest version of yourself, don’t dwell on an opinion from someone, their opinion doesn’t matter, you’re an incredible person, who has so much love, positivity and support, you don’t need people like that in your life, you’re stronger than this.

This might sound harsh, but not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to sing your praises, however, instead of focusing on the negatives, look at the positives, you don’t need negativity in your life.

7. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all

This is one of the phrases that speaks volumes to me, as a child we are always told to be nice and be polite, and when I started getting bullied, I used to say this to them, and honestly they backed off (every bullying case is different) but it is also important to remember that people should treat people the way you would want to be treated.

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2 Comments

  1. 18/10/2015 / 6:33 am

    That is a beautiful post. And since I have been combating depression since my marriage, I felt there were so many things I could add in. But cultural differences cannot be overlooked. And in some cultures, staying positive all the time, can itself push u back into the depressive mode. That is my experience with Pakistan, where “depression ” is still a tabooed subject & depressed individuals are either ostracized or “sympathized with” verbally, which makes matters worse. As humans we need to learn that there is a thing called “empathy “, and anyone can be victimized by depression or any other form of neurosis. Negativity is the last thing we need on this planet right now:)

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      amiecadwallader@outlook.com
      18/10/2015 / 7:17 pm

      That is such an important thing to speak about Saadiah, I didn’t realise that things were like that in Pakistan with depression, I know a lot of people can be ostracised in the UK because sometimes people don’t know how to talk about it, it is something I think people are scared to talk about because it is something that if you say something wrong it can have a knock on affect with a person’s recovery. I know you will get there sweetheart! Sending you all my love and I’m always here for you!

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